Recently I learned my stepfather’s cancer is now terminal.  I got the call from my step sister while I was on the treadmill doing my cardio at about 50 minutes in. After I hung up the phone with her I just wanted to lie down and cry, but I jumped right back on and powered through my last ten minutes even though I was choked up. It was a tough night for me and right away I knew my bodybuilding season would have a deeper meaning to it. This season is just not about bringing my absolute best ever physique to the stage. Hell…that is miniscule in comparison to what my stepfather is going through. I couldn’t even begin to imagine…I just know life just sometimes does not make any sense to me and it seems so unfair. I’m now dedicating my bodybuilding season in his honor and I will stop at nothing to make him proud.

An excerpt from my prior blog back in December 2010,

“I will share a little history about our relationship…my mom married my step father when I was about 12 years old. As a 12 year old kid I was not too happy with this, but as you could imagine, what 12 year would be? My stepfather and I clashed at times and it was due to his tough nature and me being young and unaware. I do not mean tough as abusive…but rather his discipline. He was a little rough around the edges, not very lenient and not one to show much affection in the form of words or physical contact…he showed it in other ways.  As a child, before he came into my life I was a bit sheltered.  I was extremely shy and very passive, so with his firmness it was quite a life changing experience. He wanted to teach me life lessons that would harden me up and at the same time show me how to use my head. I remember watching music videos on television as he would say to me “why don’t you turn it to the Wall Street Journal channel so you can learn something.” At the time I just thought of that as annoying, but now it makes a whole lot of sense. Another tough lesson I recall so vividly was a very distinct day of yard work when I was about 13 years old. We had this tree in the backyard and one of the roots needed to be cut out in order for us to lay down a brick patio next to the house. He instructed me to remove the root and instead of giving me a nice powerful chainsaw… he handed me a dull rusted hatchet. I don’t remember exactly how many hours it took to cut through that root with the hatchet, but when I was finished my hands had plenty of nasty blisters from whacking away at that root. His lesson was for me was to truly understand what hard work was like and to have me understand how to work smart and efficiently. These were just a couple of examples and I do not want to sound as though he was a bad guy because that is not the case. As I reached my early 20’s, those early lessons were accepted and appreciated so much more than when I was a teen. He is a typical man’s man…a very macho type of guy who hides his feelings, but deep down he has a tremendous heart.  The man is as tough as they come and even in his time of crisis he is still exuding so much resolve and courage. Today we have a much better and understood relationship and tremendous respect for one another.  I am thinking and sending him good thoughts as he prepares with his surgery and recovery.

Some may think of going through contest prep as an inspiring thing to do and it is to a certain degree, but in comparison to a life threatening disease it is just not the case. Let’s face it…trying to get your muscles as big as humanly possible and losing the majority of your body fat in order to stand on stage flexing in your Speedos is really not that important. For me, when times get tough as I take my contest journey, I will look to my stepfather and realize he is the real inspiration. If I am hungry…I can choose to have a re-feed day.  If I sustain an injury…I can take a break from training. But my stepfather on the other hand does not have these luxuries. He has no choice but to face his cancer head on. The worst possible thing that can happen to me…I lose a bodybuilding show…big deal.  Of course, I really want to do well and I will attempt to bring my absolute best contest conditioning to the stage. I want my stepfather to see his life lessons did not go unnoticed. I will be certain to train smart and efficiently as opposed to reaching for that rusty old hatchet.”

Before hearing the bad news, I was on the fence whether I could even make it the stage in July because I’m so far behind schedule. This entire prep I was taking it day by day and casually saying, “if I’m ready than that’s great, but if I’m not I’ll just pass.” BUT, now there is a heightened sense of urgency to train with a new conviction for the next nine weeks. I’m going to use everything in my power to push myself as hard as I’ve ever had. Every last bit of effort I have in me will be completely exhausted. No more Mr. Casual…my stepfather was a go-getter and a fierce businessman and when he wanted something you better believe his intensity came out and he stepped up his game. I will follow in his footsteps and bring that intensity in the weeks ahead. Will I bring my best physique to the stage in July? Maybe...maybe not, but what I’m sure to bring from this point forward is the drive, the intensity, and the will to succeed. It’s no longer about what I’ll look like because that does not apply anymore. What applies now is simply putting forth my all-time best effort and conquering the tough journey ahead in my step father’s honor. 

His life’s lessons will continue on through my dedication, desire and discipline! 3DMuscleJourney! Work hard, work smart, work efficiently! Let’s go!!!!  

Until my next blog keep training hard, smart and naturally!